if you're a hater, i've got a full time job for you!

the latest craze to sweep my life is MTV's jersey shore.  think real world but on the jersey shore and fill the slots with "the craziest hottest guidos and guidettes," (their words, not mine).  i can smell the spray tan and aqua net through the tv.  it's a beautiful thing.

the weird part about these lovely italian americans (much like myself) is that they all have nicknames.  is that a requirement on the jersey shore?  there is jenni "JWOWW," mike "the situation," nicole "snooki" (my personal FAVE), DJ pauly D, and sammi "sweetheart."  seriously only 3 of these people do not have an alias.  i created my own since i was so inspired by the jersey shores level of intelligence and class: angelbaby rossi.  it's pretty standard...what can i say?

STUNNING.

what else can i say about the train wreck?  everyone is orange as hell.  i am fighting my tanning addiction but these people are tanorexic.  it's gross.  and all the dudes are waxed eyebrows and wear douchebag button ups with like rhinestones and crosses and shit.   the girls like to wear little to no clothing and about a centimeter thick of wet'n'wild bronzer and black eyeliner.  it's inspirational, better yet ASPIRATIONAL!!!

there is a little controversy because in the next episode my gurl snooki gets punched square in the face by some asshole.  i have the gif because MTV is saying they won't air the clip because it sends the wrong message.  THIS WHOLE SHOW SENDS THE WRONG MESSAGE...ABOUT EVERYTHING!  and since when has MTV had anything remotely close to values or morals?  they exploit people...it's what they do.  i have never complained until now.  damn, that punch is raw as hell. hahahaha, i love you jersey shore!!! take me there!