new obsession: spencer pratt's impending nervous breakdown

so i think that i may have mentioned before that i recently experienced the hills.  i never got into it because i thought it was a complete waste of time.  it's just a bunch of rich kids, partying, and talking about themselves partying, or creating drama for one another.  i was so fucking wrong.  

this is what i have learned: spencer pratt makes the hills.  i always knew that we was a jerk and i thought he was just another douchebag...but there is so much more to spencer this season.  homeboy is headed STRAIGHT for a nervous breakdown and it's getting hella weird on the hills.

(exhibit A: spencer loving on a baby goat)

so i know everyone knows about heidi's multiple plastic surgeries.  how could you not?  she looks like that joceyln wildenstein, that crazy cat lady who has had so many surgical procedures she looks like she is melting and exploding at the same time.

heidi underwent like 10 procedures to look like that!  even worse, on the second episode of this season heidi remarks that she wants to possibly get her boobs redone at a larger size, "size H for Heidi."  she also goes home to her mother in colorado and is criticized for her new look.  she cried on the couch and said something about how she has gone through SOOOOO MUCH.  well according so some sources heidi suffers from body dysmorphic disorder.  that's where you think you look totally disgusting even though everyone else sees a perfectly natural normal person.  lots of plastic surgery addicts may suffer from BDD and i wouldn't put it past heidi to be one of them.  she looks so much older than 23.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? 23, bitch i am 24 and now post-op she looks 40.  what 23 year old wants to have the fat in her thighs sucked out and put in her cheeks???  it's not normal. 

ok so heidi is weird and suffering from some sort of disorder but then when you add spencer into the mix, it just goes crazy!  spencer pratt has SERIOUS rage issues.  have you ever known someone like that?  i have and it's really not fun to live in fear of the next outburst or fit.  spencer has isolated himself and heidi, neither of them have a relationship with their family or friends and now come the crystals...YES CRYSTALS.

The Hills - MTV Shows

it was this scene that completely sold me on this show.  spencer has gone bat-shit crazy and he thinks he needs to surround himself with crystals to keep bad energy out.  

"I am so addicted to crystals, it's like a sickness," says the Hills bad boy. "I've spent $500,000 on crystals this year. I checked my bank account last night, and I have $203 left."  WTF.  Spencer and Heidi even worked their crystals into Valentine's Day. "We hung out with our puppies and cuddled with our crystal," he says. "It's supposed to bring love. There's a whole science to this -- I'm not crazy." 

OK saying that you're NOT CRAZY makes you look even more crazy.  but how could heidi stay in such a strange relationship or endure the rage, crystals, and poverty???  A source close to them said, "She loves this persona that Spencer has become. She's just as delusional as he is."  I COULD HAVE TOLD YOU THAT JUST MY LOOKING AT THEM!

and it gets worse.  according to Life & Style, Spencer and Heidi are not actually living in their lavish multi-million dollar Hollywood Hills home that’s featured on The Hills. Instead, they are actually residing in an “unkempt and unsafe home” in Pacific Palisades.  the apartment is covered in crystals, big surprise.

do they even use their kitchen?  too many crystals in the way of dinner.  apparently, they don't leave their apartment and they share it with a marine officer who is helping spencer write a script??  (crazzzzzyyyyy) they say that spencer hopes that the crystal-lined windows will keep the bad vibes out and keep heidi in.  and they don't ever leave the house... spencer said, “It’s true, I do have a Marine in the house. He’s helping me write a script. And yes, we’ve been out of the house only three times this month, but that’s because I’m busy working on several business ventures.”

RIIIIIIIGGGGHHHTTT.  all i have to say is WHOA!  who knew the hills was so awesome? this season is gonna be fucking nuts...someone is going to die, obviously!